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Over the years I had stored up my anger, holding it inside,coveting the strength it gave me, but once I started...At first neither of them said anything, then, for the first time, dadspoke."The way I see it, what you're doing is wrong! You are not a woman,you're just a man that happens to look like a woman! What do youpossibly think you can offer a real man? Sex? That's about all you haveto offer isn't it?"I wasn't going to try and explain it to him and didn't even bother totry. I stood up, and when mom did too, I hugged her, then left. My oneand only attempt to forge a new relationship with my dad had beentrashed in a just a few words. Unhappily, as much as I tried to put whathe said out of my mind, it stuck there, the continuing litany of hiswords reverberating in my psyche. He was right, I wasn't a woman, andthere was no way that I would ever have children no matter how often Itried. To take my mind off things I found the map then followed theinstructions until I sat there in. ..oh god I was going tocum with another person...oh fuck... a woman, a woman was going to makeme cum.Before I could say stop, or no or anything I came in a hip jerkingimitation of an epileptic fit I came like never before. I cried, my facewet with tears as my body went into an uncontrollable spasm.Afterwards she held me tight cradling me in her arms and I cried."Sharon I don?t know what to do."She smiled. "It?s OK baby I?ll teach you, I will show you everything."She let me go and I sat there in my bra and my sodden jeans. She stoodup. "Tell you what sweetheart, I am going over to my place and cook usdinner, come over in about half an hour and it will be ready." She gaveme a last kiss before scurrying out the door.After she left, I slumped back against the sofa, was that it?Am I a lesbian? Is that why I am so confused? I realized as well thatthe reason she left was for me to make a decision, if I went over there,I knew exactly what was going to happen. If I stayed here, I am safe.I.
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